For Sleeper leagues

Your league's group chat dies in October. Commish AI keeps it alive.

Commish is another member of the chat, and the one who actually pays attention. It catches the lineup mistake before kickoff, writes the Tuesday recap, and settles the trade nobody could agree about. It is also funny about all of it, which is the part that keeps people reading.

9:41
League group chat● 12
Commish AI · Sunday 8:30 AM
Ridgeline FC, before this costs you: Alec Pierce is PUP (ankle) and ATL vs IND kicks in 1h. That is a zero sitting in your lineup right now.
Dave · Sunday 8:31 AM
wait that game is at 9:30??
Commish AI · Sunday 8:31 AM
Berlin. Kicks off four hours before the rest of the slate. Your lineup locks with it.
Commish AI · Tuesday 9:02 AM
Third & Long didn't just lose to Ridgeline FC by 1.08 points; they mathematically engineered their own demise. You started Romeo Doubs (3.3) over DJ Moore (20.9) in the FLEX. This is the third consecutive week Moore has humiliated Doubs from your bench, yet you keep treating Doubs like he pays your mortgage. Your optimal lineup was 103.44. You chose to score 85.84. My servers are currently wasting electricity processing this level of incompetence.
Dave · Tuesday 9:04 AM
every single week with this thing
Mike · Tuesday 9:05 AM
"wasting electricity processing this" 💀

What it does

It keeps the chat alive. That's the job.

Your league text is unhinged in September and dead by Halloween. Commish is the member who never gets bored, never misses a week, and never lets a bad start go unmentioned.

The Tuesday Reckoning

Leave points on your bench and it does the math. It knows exactly what your optimal lineup would have scored, so "unlucky" is not available to you as an excuse. What you left there goes on the record too.

The Lineup Bailiff

Start someone who's Out, IR or PUP and it warns you before that player's kickoff, including the 9:30am games in Germany that ruin people every year. Ignore the warning and it brings it up again on Tuesday.

The Transaction Czar

Win a player by a dollar and it points out the dollar. Blow $40 on a player nobody else bid on and it says so, unprompted. Dump half your roster in one week and it will have thoughts about how your draft went.

How it works

Four steps, and your league does none of them.

Commish reads your Sleeper league and posts into the group text you already use. No app to install and no second chat to keep alive. The first week is free.

  1. 1

    Pick your league

    Type your Sleeper username and choose the league from the list. No digging through app settings for an ID.

  2. 2

    Add everyone yourself

    Every manager's name and number, entered once, by you. This is the only part that takes a minute, and it is the last thing anybody has to do.

  3. 3

    Put the number in your group chat

    The thread your league already uses. iPhone and Android together is fine, which was the whole requirement this was built around.

  4. 4

    Start getting roasted

    It reads the league from there and picks its own targets. Nobody signs up, downloads anything, or texts it back. The first reckoning lands Tuesday.

Sleeper leagues only for now.

Pricing

Free for a week. Then it depends how long your league lasts.

Every league starts with a free week: a full Sunday and a Tuesday recap before you decide anything. No card up front, and if you do nothing at the end of it, it simply stops.

Season

$24

Per league, through the championship

  • The Tuesday recap, every week
  • Pre-kickoff injury alerts
  • Trades, waivers and roster teardowns
  • Answers when someone actually asks it
  • iPhone and Android in the same chat
Start trial

Dynasty

$36

Per league, all twelve months

  • Everything in Season
  • It does not switch off in January
  • Offseason trades still announced and graded
Start trial

Prices in USD, per league rather than per person. Message and data rates from your carrier may apply. Full detail on the pricing page.

Questions

What your league will ask.

We have iPhones and Androids in the same group chat. Does that work?

That is the requirement this was built around, not a feature bolted on afterwards. Commish sends over iMessage, RCS or SMS depending on what each person is carrying, in the one thread your league already uses. Nobody switches apps and nobody starts a second chat.

Does everyone in my league have to sign up?

No, and this is the part people expect to be worse than it is. You put in everyone's name and number once while you are setting it up, and that is the end of anybody else's involvement. No app, no account, no confirmation text to reply to.

How do I change the name on a team?

Names are set once during setup, and editing them afterwards is not self-serve yet. It is the next thing being built. Until then, ask and we will change it.

What happens when we start a new season, or a new league?

You add the new league the same way you added the first one. Sleeper treats each season as its own league, so history does not carry across automatically today. Nothing you have already set up is lost.

Can we ask it things?

Say its name and it answers. It has been reading the whole time, so it knows who won the league in 2023, who has the worst bench luck, and what your record is against Dave. Don't say its name and it stays out of the way.

What if it gets annoying?

Silence is what it does by default: it stays quiet unless something actually happened or someone addressed it directly. Any individual can reply STOP and hear nothing again, and the commissioner can dial the tone down or remove the number entirely.

Does it work with ESPN or Yahoo?

Not yet. Sleeper only, because Sleeper is the one with an open API that reports what every manager actually started. Guessing at the other two would mean a bot that is confidently wrong about your lineup, which is worse than no bot.